Category Archives: My Life as a Free Man

Master Number 33 by Wayne T. Dowdy

Master Number 33

On the night that I received the medallion displayed above, four members of a twelve-step program sat at a table pulling cards from a deck. I overheard the only male in the small group say, “I don’t want one.”

He didn’t want to pull a card, so I volunteered and exchanged seats, due in part to three lovely ladies sitting at the table where he sat. That is where Master Number 33 comes into play for the topic of this blog, though I didn’t learn that I was a Master Number 33 for several weeks because I recall that I pulled a card containing four images.

The interpreter, Stephanie, then asked me several personal questions before our affair was interrupted for those of us celebrating milestones in recovery to be honored with the presentation of sobriety tokens.

Stephanie made some positive comments about her findings before we had to rearrange our seats for the spectacular events to proceed for which we were gathered.

Months later I asked her what all of that meant that she had said after reading the card, etc. She then sent me the link below on the Master Number 33 and suggested I read it. When I did, I was amazed at the accuracy proven by my history and observation of Number “3” and events in my life, which I will not go into for the purpose of this blog.

In reference to Master Number 33, one example is that in recovery and in life in general, my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, uses me to help others to find a new way of life. Something I do out of love for others and love doing to compensate for the many dirty deeds I did before my conversion (changing my lifestyle in 1995 and retiring from the Thug Life I lived for several years because I didn’t know how to change what began as a child). Here is a quote from Ganehaspeaks.com to support that fact:

“Master Number 33 Powers and Characteristics

“They seem to possess an unlimited reservoir of spiritual energy which they use extremely liberally to help those around them. The root of 33 that is 6 is a number that is naturally associated with family, love, home, and responsibility.” 

https://www.ganeshaspeaks.com/numerology/master-numbers/number-33/


I am responsible! I suit up and show up when committed to helping another person find a new way of life.


Matter of Perception: Thirty-three years ago on August 18, 1988, an event occurred that some may view as good while others may see it as bad, meaning not-so-good.

Personally, since I am the Star of the Show, I see it as necessary and a combination of both, good and bad, because if the event had not occurred, I would not be alive to write this blog or to enjoy the life I am blessed with living today. To understand that statement a person needs to read my book to grasp a full understanding.

Though far from the life I imagined and believe is on the horizon, I am doing well in that I have the main essentials for survival (good health, food, shelter), and am still alive and free as a spirit having a human experience.

THE EVENT: Kentucky State Patrol pulled me and an accomplice over in Campbell County, Tennessee, which ultimately led to my arrest and conviction on several federal charges and a 420-month federal prison sentence, all of which I wrote about in Essays & More Straight from the Pen. (Buy paperback for $8.95 or eBook for $0.99)

Essays and More Straight from the Pen shows the power of change. The well-written essays take the reader deep inside the life of their author who overcame circumstances and obstacles that kept him chained to a life of drugs and crime. The stories inspire and motivate people to not give up or lose hope, and to fight for a new life.


August 28, 2018: I walked out of the United States Federal Bureau of Prisons in Edgefield, South Carolina. That was the first time in 30-years and 10-days that I walked outside the confines of a prison without handcuffs, chains, and shackles.

In Electronic Chain on this site, I wrote about some of my experiences after completion of my federal prison sentence on March 8, 2019. And then in another blog, Prison and Personality Changes by Wayne T. Dowdy, I included an update to my life after release and a recent post on Quora.com, all of which I write in hope of using my experiences to help others.

My goal is to convert my negative experiences into positive ones by sharing my experience, strength, and hope with others, as is common in Twelve Step programs.

Conclusion

In conclusion of this blog, I will end with an excerpt from the Conclusion in Numerology: Master Number 33 that if someone elects to buy and read Essays & More Straight from the Pen, will probably see a substantial contrast in the man I am today versus the person I had become based upon life experiences, and thus see the Power of Change I want others to see in my life:

“People affiliated with this number will be loving, sympathetic, emotional, kind-hearted and zealous in their essence.”

Prison and Personality Changes by Wayne T. Dowdy

In the last few years I have written a lot of content relating to prison life and its effect on people, including myself. My writings help me to share life experiences, good and not-so-good, with others who may be interested in reading a different perspective on a variety of topics.

My objective in most of my writings is to educate others, or to otherwise express views to fuel thought processes.  One platform I use is Quora.com, and as can be seen in the following screenshot, a lot of people read what I write.  One of my more popular answers related to challenging technology after release.  https://www.quora.com/If-you-ve-spent-a-long-time-in-prison-what-technology-did-you-find-hardest-to-adjust-to-when-you-were-released/answer/Wayne-T-Dowdy?

Click the image below to go to my Quora Profile.

The latest contribution is in response to the question, “Do you feel that confinement has changed your personality?

I will end this blog post with my answer to the question that includes a link to a blog I wrote before my release and an excerpt:

“No Doubt! Decades in prison changed my personality.  In prison a person often must behave in a different manner than he or she normally would do, especially when interacting with others. 

“In the more dangerous prisons, such as some of which I’ve lived, a person becomes desensitized to external stimuli and learns to do what needs or doesn’t need to be done to survive. Sometimes that may be not responding when seeing an act of violence that the more humane side wants to stop or by getting involved in a situation that he or she doesn’t want to be involved in (participating in a violent confrontation between groups or individuals).  Only those who have lived in the insane world of incarceration may understand what that means. 

“Some of the behaviors learned to survive may involve violent reactions/responses to a situation that a sane person would simply walk away from, whereas in prison, if a person walks away, he or she may become a target for the predators if viewed as weak or a coward, and then have to deal with more unpleasant situations than wanted, examples too vast to go into for the purpose of this answer.

“For me, one of the ways that prison life changed my personality is how I function in a relationship and interact with others.  Even though I may appear to be normal on the surface, on the inside I may feel more restrained to behave the way that I would have before my incarceration where the display of affection is concerned.

“I was released on August 28, 2018, after serving 30-years and 10-days in the United States Federal Bureau of Prisons. Though I have successfully reintegrated because I decided to change my life in 1995 by getting clean and sober, I still cannot let go of the effects of decades in prison.

“In 2015, long before my release, I paid my publisher to create a website for me because I wanted my voice to reach outside the bars, walls, and fences. On my website I posted a blog, Damage and Prison that I will post a link to below. Some of the effects of decades in prison continue this day. The difference is that I refuse to allow my old behaviors and past to control my actions today. I focus on making healthy decisions as I continue my quest for a better life and to help others to know that change is possible.

DAMAGE and PRISON

Excerpt from Damage and Prison by Wayne T. Dowdy

“Upon release, I will have to undo decades of damage done by the prison experience: suppressing healthy emotions and needs. I must learn to be normal, whatever that may be in an imperfect world filled with broken toys, damaged from life experiences.

[I continue to work on behaving as I normally would do as a free citizen, if not for the damage caused by the extensive incarceration. I still struggle when it comes to relationships. I am a decent, loving, kind, and gentle human being, who doesn’t have to pretend to be bullet proof.]

“I sent out the following message to a friend who posted it on social media for me. A lot of people liked it so I will share:

’03/05/17: To all my Faithful Friends: I hope March brings each of you lots of love and success or whatever your hearts desire. For me, I’d be happy to be able to walk through a park or to sit on a lake to listen and observe the beauty of nature; to give someone a hug, kiss someone special, or to just be able to sit and watch animals; or to pet a dog, cat, rabbit, or a chicken. 🙂

“Hell, I’d be happy to watch some fish swim around in an aquarium. I am looking forward to going to the Georgia Aquarium to see some really big fish! So much in life people take for granted until it’s gone. One day soon I will be reentering the human race. Then I will be able to interact with each of you like a normal person. Have a great day! Wayne’

“[Georgia Aquarium: I walked by the Georgia Aquarium en route to a job fair at the City of Refuge, but have not been to watch the fish swim. I will go soon now that I’m working and can afford to buy the tickets. Everything is expensive!

“Update 08/02/2020: I did visit the Georgia Aquarium with loved ones and enjoyed the experience but was shocked by the entry-cost and food prices.]

“The above indicates the desensitization of prisoners. For over 28-1/2 years, my physical contact with other humans and mammals has been severely restricted. That is definitely true on an intimate level about lovers and sexual intercourse! During this sentence, I have resisted romantic-relationships. I’ve only been involved in three since 1988, and only one of those included physical contact (hugs and kisses on a visit).”

Could Be Me

But for the Grace of God There Go I

Provide Treatment for Addiction Problems to Reduce Recidivism

July 11, 2021: I am reposting this blog because of its importance to me and millions of others. Had I not changed my life in 1995 while inside the United States Federal Bureau of Prisons, I would never have lived long enough to walk out of the prison doors. Today I have a life worth living because I dealt with the interpersonal issues I had that kept me caught up in my addition and in prison for the majority of my life.

I am evidence that miracles happen.

In December 2002, a study author stated that eighty-five percent of prisoners had addiction problems, and of those, half had an underlying mental condition (42.5%). To me, that study shows a critical need for providing resources to help treat addiction problems, if we plan to reduce recidivism.

Thirty Percent of Men and Women with Addiction Problems Have Underlying Mental Health Conditions.

Combine Treatment for Both Issues to Change Lives.

I am one who falls within the study findings and attest to the accuracy of the study finding; however, I don’t live that way anymore. The August 2008 publication from Readers Write in The Sun magazine, helps explain why that remains true: https://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/392/up-all-night

(For more on the study and its findings, read “No Sympathy” on this site)

Note: I am now free and living my life as a productive member of society and reside in metro Atlanta, Georgia.

The Sun magazine Readers Write topic: Up All Night

I have spent many nights wide awake on methamphetamine, cocaine, LSD, and Ecstasy. In the late seventies, I used to go on PCP benders and lose days of my life to blackouts. As a result, I cannot honestly say what I have or have not done.

I am currently serving a thirty-five-year federal sentence for armed bank robbery and associated charges. For the first seven years of my sentence, I did cocaine, methamphetamine, heroin, or some combination of the above as often as I could. When the guards came around to count us after lights out, I’d fake being asleep to avoid getting a urinalysis the next day. In the morning I’d begin the search for another fix.

Then I began seeing a prison psychologist. I wanted to stop shooting drugs, but I had failed at it so many times that I didn’t have much hope. The psychologist arranged sessions with a drug-treatment specialist. After about a month, she decided that the core of my addiction was shame, and she gave me a homework assignment: to write about the most shameful event in my life.

I decided to give her more than she had bargained for. I wrote from 5:30 P.M. until 5:30 A.M., committing to paper all the sick secrets that I had vowed to take with me to my grave. I filled sixteen yellow, legal-size pages.

The following day the drug counselor read what I’d written and predicted that I would never use again. For thirteen years her prediction has held true. But I keep in mind that my reprieve from my addiction is contingent on my spiritual condition from day to day. To stay healthy I have to attend twelve-step meetings and continue to write about what’s going on in my life. Staying up all night writing, instead of doing drugs, has helped me to reach beyond the walls and razor wire and into the lives of others.

Wayne T. Dowdy

BUTTERFLIES and CHANGE by Wayne T. Dowdy

I found the inscription on the medallion shown above in the photo to be inspiring and true: “If nothing ever changed there would be no butterflies.”

Several years ago, I was published in an international magazine and was quoted as having said something like, “I was antisocial until AA turned me into a social butterfly.”

Butterflies are free and so am I!

On April 5, 2021, a doctor called me on the phone and thanked me for a personal magazine/book that I gave her: Essays & More Straight from the Pen. She said it changed her life by allowing her to understand more about how one’s experiences in life shape the person they become (or something along those lines. I’m paraphrasing from memory).

For such a compliment to come from someone as prestigious and intelligent (and pretty) as her, I was moved deeply and more thankful for her call than she probably realized. Knowing how busy she is in her profession and that she was so thoughtful that she took the time from her busy schedule to call me, meant a lot.

She began the conversation by saying she hoped that it was a good time for her to call, and by acknowledging that she knew the day was a special one for me (the last day I used mind-altering substances in 1995). Then she thanked me for my very well written book and for writing openly and honestly about the sensitive content from my past.

When I promised to give her a copy, I asked that she please remember me as the person she met versus the person she reads about inside the book.

I felt honored that she had remembered me as the man she met and was so grateful that she called to thank me for the truthful content inside the pages, a lot of which I am not proud of having done decades before.

People can change the same as butterflies do when metamorphosing from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly. Read about the man who did in Essays & More Straight from the Pen.

Essays & More Straight from the Pen by Wayne T. Dowdy

He Never Lost Hope. Hope Was All He Had

Essays and More Straight from the Pen shows the power of change, gives hope to readers wanting a different life.

The well-written essays take readers deep inside the life of the author who overcame circumstances and obstacles that kept him chained to a life of drugs and crime.

The stories inspire and motivate people to not give up or lose hope, and to fight for a new life.


Life After Release-6

LIFE AFTER RELEASE

My life after release continues to be in the present, as I have not become a recidivist who got out of prison only to return with a new charge(s) or for a technical violation on supervised release. For me it is easy since I don’t do anything I’m not supposed to do: I don’t get high, don’t run the streets, get permission before going out of the area, and just do the right thing by living in harmony with the Universe on most days.

In these types of blogs, I write from my personal experience and perspective, more so than from a broader, more general perspective of life after incarceration, or about my life while inside.

However, issues affecting those of us released, as well as those left inside, remain important to me, as will be shown if you search this website for “recidivism,” “returning citizens,” “Federal Bureau of Prisons,” “Incarceration,” where I have written numerous blogs relating to those issues. I contribute the following paragraph as a great resource for information.

PRISON POLICY INITIATIVES

For those interested in a more technical aspect of issues relating to Returning Citizens and recidivism or other prison-related issues, the Prison Policy Initiative contains volumes of important research information. I am personally grateful for Peter Wagner who devotes time and energy towards making a difference in the lives of others.


Fairshake.net

Fairshake.net is one of the best, if not the best, resource for returning citizens who need a broad base of information to help them carve their way into a bright future.

The owner of Fairshake.net invited me to write a few sentences for the Fair Shake New Year’s Eve Edition. This is what I was published:

“‘Miracles happen every day but what I learned is that sometimes I must do my part to make a miracle happen. I do what I believe to be the right thing and then get out of the way. I refused to give up my fight for freedom and fought 14-years to get Good Conduct Time. My last victory allowed me to leave for a halfway house on 08/28/2018, instead of 12/26/2018. My hope for better days got me through the dark days spent inside the dungeons of the United States Federal Bureau of Prisons. Today, hope keeps me moving in a positive direction in pursuit of the many goals I remain focused on achieving. Never lose hope!'”

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

My popularity continues to climb on Quora.com, where I have written several articles/answers about my experiences relating to life in prison and other related topics. The bulleted list that follows this screenshot of my statistics, shows the most read and upvoted content. These days I don’t have much time to devote to writing on Quora, but if interested in any of the topics, visit my profile page on Quora.com to access my Answers (https://www.quora.com/profile/Wayne-T-Dowdy).

  • How are new inmates treated when they first come to prison?· 
  • If you’ve spent a long time in prison, what technology did you find hardest to adjust to when you were released?·
  • As someone who has been to prison, what are the most common inaccuracies about prison life portrayed in movies?· 
  • How does serving time in federal prison compare to state prison?· 
  • In prison, inmates yell “12” to alert other inmates when an officer is present. Why is the number 12 used when they alert each other (or does this only happen in Georgia prisons)?·
  • When does the day start for inmates in federal prison?· 
  • What happens in prison if you don’t get along with your cellie and it is a dangerous situation? Can you request a new cellmate or a transfer to a different cell?·
  • Do all men in prison have sex with other men?·
  • If you were imprisoned, how comfortable would you be without any privacy?·
  • Is it true that people get sprayed with water in prison, when they first get there?· 
  • What is a secret which you would not tell anybody in real life, but would on Quora using anonymity?·
  • What incentives do inmates have to behave well, especially those in for life? Do they care about their quality of life while on the inside knowing that they’re not ever getting out?·
  • People believe that prison should be tougher for the inmates, since there are too many luxuries awarded at the expense of taxpayers. Is being in prison as good as people think it is or worse than people could imagine?·
  • Are jail/prison inmates treated differently based on the crime they committed?·
  • Did anyone attempt a prison escape while you were an inmate?·
  • Can you survive and stay healthy on food provided to you in prison? Is the food clean and nutritious enough, or do you need to order out like the rest of the inmates?· 
  • How many people who attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings stay sober over 5 years?·
  • What were you in prison for?·
  • What is something you’ve seen that you wish you hadn’t seen?· 
  • Does “giving yourself up or turning yourself in” really give you a lighter jail sentence?· 

CONCLUSION

I have more to say but don’t have time to write it, so I will close by asking those who like or want to invest and trade stocks, to read Massive Change by Wayne T. Dowdy. Watch the two YouTube videos by Stock Moe to learn something you didn’t know. 🙂

Sign up for a Webull account and fund it with at least $100 to get an free stock ranging in value. That will help me to earn two free stocks, too. 🙂 I thank you in advance!